Self Serving or Truly Serving??

Over coffee yesterday morning Stephen Lau asked my motive for wanting to meet (a fair question, since it was the first time we’d had a “meeting”). My answer was in the line of: “exploring ways we can collaborate/support one another”.

In the Joint Venture world, we call this creating “overlap”. In other words, mutual interest in reciprocal success.As conversation evolved Stephen talked about “service above self” & how integral this paradigm is towards the partnerships & agreements he *does* enter.

And you know what??!! As my entrepreneurial path evolves, this comes up so much!! Successful business people are VERY conscious about avoiding the “self-server” & instead work with the responsible and capable team player.

On the topic, my friend Bryan Nickel shared some wisdom recently,

“When you’re focused on what you need, your ‘needs’ come out; people can smell that”

Newsflash!! In other words, “self serving” doesn’t work 😦

(in case you were sleeping)

*** On the flip side ...

Consider the “The Four Way Test”, courtesy of Rotary International … the four questions to ask before ever moving forward, on anything.

1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all Concerned?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

As Jill Brock mentioned on my facebook page this week,

“It is great to ‘serve’ others, when they want to be ‘served.’ Adding value (serving) doesn’t necessarily mean a product or service…but rather, value can be just knowing that you are there to support and empathize, whenever they need it”.

With this in mind, 2 short days ago this popped up in a book …

I sought my God and my God I could not find.

I sought my soul and my soul eluded me.

I sought my brother to serve him in his need,

and I found all three — my God, my soul & thee.

– Anonymous

Think back to a time when you shared something deep, something meaningful and it really impacted someone. How did that feel??

… yes, indeed … service at its finest 😉


PS – thanks to everyone mentioned above – your wisdom and perspective inspires me.


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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hey Kyle,

    Sounds like you’re having fun.

    If you like getting serious about things, stop over and visit the ‘far side’ at:

    Talk to you later,
    Mike cH

    • Fun indeed Mike – thanks for the link 🙂
      Stay in touch!

  2. Kyle

    Thank you for your words and inspiration. The irony is that this is what I am learning as well. So your shared insights are timely 🙂 It has been a pleasure getting to know you Kyle and I look forward to hearing more.


    • Fascinating how we’re in a similar place. More and more I truly believe that “we are one”. When it’s all boiled down, so many of the same realities exist for everyone. Also learning from one another as we go – it’s powerful. In addition to connecting with people in person or on the phone, this is exactly what blows me away about web 2.0. Very easy to share ideas & insights.

  3. I would be curious to better understand your definition of “self-serving”. In a lot of ways, I’ve found that having more (clarity, energy, health, vitality, money, time, knowledge) means that I have more to give… the better that I am for myself, the better I can be for others. From this place perhaps “self-serving” is the same as “Truly Serving”.


    • Great point Tim. John Maxwell talks about this too. He realized that to serve others, we must serve ourselves first.

      For me it’s about, where is the intention? Is the intention in greater outcome for others, the community, business partners, the world? Or is the outcome primarily for oneself? It’s drastically different. At the same time & like Ziglar says: “If you help enough people get what they want, you will get what you want.”

      Encouraging perspective … b/c from this place, we all can move forward.

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